Its a Bit Deep and Heavy

This is a double headed blog post. Its heavy and it is deep. Its so sad and concerning, yet it is so important to be said.

To begin, my uncle passed away this weekend. He was not in the best of health. He had a heart issue, was overweight, didn’t eat well. Generally he did not take the best care of himself. But the one thing that hits hard is that he refused a Covid vaccine. He said that Covid was a hoax. It isn’t real. He refused the vaccine, masks, social distancing. Didn’t do all the things that he could have to prevent Covid. He got Covid and now he is dead. Granted, not getting vaccinated was his choice. He had a right to decide what was “best” for himself, but he didn’t think about how his actions of not getting a vaccine would affect others around him, short or long term. The consequences of spreading the virus to others who were vulnerable, those who had preexisting conditions. The emotional hurt, frustration or pain of others. We had to break the news to my grandmother in the nursing home and that was one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever seen. There is a chance that maybe, just maybe, had he gotten the vaccine, wore the masks, and realized that this isn’t some joke, he may have bought himself a little more time and would have died peacefully in his sleep later down the road instead of being hooked up to countless machines in a medically induced coma completely void of the environment around him.

I believe in science. I believe in medicine. I believe that vaccines work. I mean how else would small pox have been eradicated? I believe that the Covid vaccines are the best way to stop severe illness from happening and protecting those more vulnerable. I implore anyone who has not gotten the vaccine, please do not let your ego, pride, or the endless misinformation stop you from getting one.

The second iceberg is this; I was inside the nursing home yesterday, in the wing my grandmother is in. It was 10am and she was supposed to have breakfast at 8, so her food was 2 hours late. She filled out her meal card for breakfast which included toast with jam, bacon and a fruit cup. She got plain toast (no butter) and a small glass of juice and that was it. Her water cup was empty, no one had filled it as of noon when we left. There was only one CNA that I saw in her wing the whole time and one dietary aide. That’s it. One CNA for about 24 residents. How in the world is that legal? And they think these residents are getting quality care? And for the almost $10,000 a month in room and board you think that they could at least give her butter with her toast.

So with that, please make sure if you have a loved one in a nursing home, go see them. Bring them goodies and gadgets. Make sure that they have a warm blanket or something cozy. If not, think of making a donation to a home to give some of the residents a little cheer this holiday. I will continue to yell at the top of my lungs until someone at the state level listens to what I am telling them about the care in the nursing homes, but in the meantime, I might try to spread some holiday cheer for those who need it a little more than me.

Let’s just say that we need to make better choices. Think about others more than ourselves. Bring back kindness. I know it is out there, we just have to make it happen.

Michigan Falling Short in Long Term Care

It is no surprise that the way our society functions is failing million Americans. I just read an article on NPR that is something that I think most Americans can relate to in some way shape or form. But this is not the only issue we are having. Medical care (insurance), child care, education, maternity/paternity leave that is paid, paying for college, or just paying for groceries are some of the everyday issues that American grapple with every day. The American wage is not allowing people to save for their kids, retirement, heck even a vacation. We also don’t have the means to keep some of the elderly in their homes because the cost of in home care is so high, you have to be a millionaire to afford it. One topic that I think is left out over and over again is adult care, specifically care of the elderly or vulnerable in the nursing homes.

I can only speak specifically for Michigan because that is the state in which I reside, not to mention spent many hours reading Michigan laws, rules and regulations about nursing homes. I understand that our country is divided in so many ways right now and we are going through some sort of “wake up”, and for some things that is beneficial to what we need, but what about our elderly?

My grandmother who is immunocompromised asked for 3 weeks for a booster shot. No one would give her an answer as to when she could get one. She finally got one on Veteran’s Day, yet it may have been too late as she was exposed to a CNA that was covid positive on the day prior.

People are pushing their call lights to have assistance, and no one is coming. Why? Because there are not enough CNAs to work. One aide may have up to 20+ people a day to take care of, and this is considered quality care when the room and board bill ALONE surpasses $8,000 a month. Um, I think not. Sounds just like another get rich scheme instead of remembering that these residents that need care are actually PEOPLE and they matter too.

The food that residents get in a nursing home is worse than what prisoners get at MDOC. The food is cold, barely palatable. Once my grandmother was given a head of broccoli for dinner and that was all. One time it was cold scrambled eggs for breakfast. Don’t even get me started on the diet she is supposed to follow because of her medical conditions; after many conversations with the administrator and dietary nothing changes. Still food shes not supposed to have and cold food that cannot be eaten followed by unreasonable excuses one after another or in some situations, ignoring me (the advocate) all together.

You may say that I should go ahead and report these nursing homes. I have reported 4 nursing homes. It took 3 months before any were investigated. Do they know what can happen in three months? Maybe they do, but just don’t care. For example, one nursing home I reported was cited for not following state guidelines. While I was reading my report, I was able to see other reports in which the same nursing home had been cited. One report was a nurse in the nursing home was under investigation for 2 deaths happening under her watch in suspicious circumstances. And guess what? While the investigation was happening they allowed her to continue to work there even though there was a possibility that her actions or lack of could have been causing residents deaths. Another nursing home I reported was cited because they withheld a schizophrenics medications from him for over a month. A month. Why? Because they said it cost too much. If you ever have a moment and want to know what is happening in these facilities look up some state reports.

I have written to my senator, my local ombudsman, my governor. and have reported numerous nursing homes. They get a slap on the wrist. The nursing homes come up with a plausible plan that makes the state happy but never follow through and are not truly held accountable for what goes on inside those walls.

I don’t know why I am writing this. Maybe to vent. Maybe to get people to be aware. Maybe to get someone who has more power and authority to listen and DO something for these people. I’m just tired of it. These people have spent their lives doing great things, working hard paying their taxes, doing community service and going on great adventures. Maybe gardening, rescuing animals, making care bags for the homeless. And this is how its allowed to be repaid? Cold food, ignoring call lights, all for sucking all the money they can from their insurance to only get sub par care? No. Absolutely not. We can do better. We need to do better.

I’m A Little Bold

I went looking for new glasses yesterday and the eye tech gave me a pair of light pink glasses. I told him that I was not a pink girl. Then he gave me some teal frames and he commented that they were bold. And I agreed; I am a bold kind of girl.

I feel like I am finally making headway with some of these nursing home issues. My grandmother’s health is still all over the place and is now residing in her 5th nursing home. This one is a huge upgrade compared to the last four. The price tag definitely reflects that. But the staff are kind, she is being fed (sort of), and they communicate with us (sometimes) so I think we are winning so far.

I wanted to write this specific blog to help some of you out who may not be familiar with elder care or long tern nursing home care. Nursing homes are to follow state rules and guidelines, so please check with your state laws for more details. (I am in Michigan.)

Document: If you can, email people that are caring for your loved one (LO). I reported a home and the investigator for the state was in contact with me throughout the process. The nursing home claimed that they had no record of my grievances with them. Luckily, I had saved all of my emails sent to them and gave those emails to the investigator. She was able to use my emails as evidence that the home was not in compliance and they were given multiple citations.

Be annoying: Call and email. If you are unsure about something, call for clarification. Get on their social Media accounts. You are the advocate for your loved one. If you have to call 10 times to get an answer, call. They will get the message that you are serious.

Write to your congressional members: If you know that there is something going on in the nursing home that is cause for concern, and it is something that is a common factor in many nursing homes, write to your congressional members. Write to senators. Write to the Attorney General. Write to all of the people that you can to make them aware. I am in contact with one of my senators and his office stays in touch with me. One of the issues that I brought up was the time between a report being filed to the state and then the state investigating the report. Most times it task 90 days for them to start looking into it. That is completely unacceptable. My senator is now working on how to create a time frame that investigators need to follow to check on these reports.

Ask a lot of questions: Ask ask ask ask ask!!!!! Ask all of the questions and find out all that you can. Also, information in nursing homes is to be available to the public at all times. There is a list of citations that the nursing homes are given my the state and those are to be available for people to read. If the nursing home cannot give you this information upon asking, they are in violation and can be given a citation for that as well.

Look for the info not freely given: I found that there is a lot of hidden information. Like contacting your local ombudsman in the need of help Sometimes they can settle issues before it becomes an bigger issue, like with a resident feeling like their needs or wishes are not being met. It was also explained to me that there are people in the state agency that are responsible for judging how severe a complaint is and that determines when the state investigators can look into it. If the complaint is not “severe enough”, it will take longer for them to look into the complaint.

The elderly need better care. For whatever reason your family member needs to be in a care facility, they should always be treated with respect and dignity. They should feel safe and be comfortable. Be fed and watered. All basic needs should be met. But most of these facilities are failing these people.

I would love for my grandmother to be home and have in home care, but she doesn’t qualify. Insurance won’t pay. We would have to pay out of pocket. 24 hour care would cost $648 a day. We have a tiny support system for her. We don’t have a choice but to have her in a facility until she has the ability to care for herself independently.

I just thought I would share what I have learned about all of this. And to tell you that even when it is hard, keep fighting.

Vaccine Where?

My husband is considered an essential worker. He cannot get a covid vaccine unless his employer contacts a vaccine clinic that will allow him to get vaccinated. That phone call was made 11 days ago and we have heard nothing about him getting his appointment for his vaccination.

My doctor called me on Friday for some lab results. She asked me if I wanted a Covid vaccine. I said yes. I am not an essential worker and I have no health issues. (Mind you as of April 5th, Michigan was open to all people 16 and over to get vaccines.). I have an appointment this week. Monday I called the office to see if I could get my husband an appointment and they said no. That unless he has medical issues he cant have one. So I questioned the receptionist and asked her how come I was able to get one. She says I was lucky.

Here is what it coming down to. Michigan opened it up to all people over 16 to get a vaccine if they wanted one. The issue is they are not allowing those people to get them, only in designated clinics. So, one clinic will allow anyone to have a vaccine and the one 2 blocks down the road will not. So explain to my why we bothered opening the vaccines up to all people if it will be weeks or months before they will be allowed to get them because we are still vaccinating those who are more vulnerable? Just keep the vaccine eligibility closed until you can actually vaccinate those people. Because all it does is piss a bunch of people off.

As of this morning it seems as though all but three places in our area locally are vaccinating people over 16 with no medical conditions. The wait lists for these clinics are huge. And last week my county declared a state of emergency for covid cases. So, where are all the vaccines?? I’m going to stay hopeful that we will get a call for him sooner rather than later, and this applies for many of my family members as well. I also hope that others that are looking for vaccines also have good luck at getting their speedily without a hitch. We have got to get this pandemic under control, asap.