Its a Bit Deep and Heavy

This is a double headed blog post. Its heavy and it is deep. Its so sad and concerning, yet it is so important to be said.

To begin, my uncle passed away this weekend. He was not in the best of health. He had a heart issue, was overweight, didn’t eat well. Generally he did not take the best care of himself. But the one thing that hits hard is that he refused a Covid vaccine. He said that Covid was a hoax. It isn’t real. He refused the vaccine, masks, social distancing. Didn’t do all the things that he could have to prevent Covid. He got Covid and now he is dead. Granted, not getting vaccinated was his choice. He had a right to decide what was “best” for himself, but he didn’t think about how his actions of not getting a vaccine would affect others around him, short or long term. The consequences of spreading the virus to others who were vulnerable, those who had preexisting conditions. The emotional hurt, frustration or pain of others. We had to break the news to my grandmother in the nursing home and that was one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever seen. There is a chance that maybe, just maybe, had he gotten the vaccine, wore the masks, and realized that this isn’t some joke, he may have bought himself a little more time and would have died peacefully in his sleep later down the road instead of being hooked up to countless machines in a medically induced coma completely void of the environment around him.

I believe in science. I believe in medicine. I believe that vaccines work. I mean how else would small pox have been eradicated? I believe that the Covid vaccines are the best way to stop severe illness from happening and protecting those more vulnerable. I implore anyone who has not gotten the vaccine, please do not let your ego, pride, or the endless misinformation stop you from getting one.

The second iceberg is this; I was inside the nursing home yesterday, in the wing my grandmother is in. It was 10am and she was supposed to have breakfast at 8, so her food was 2 hours late. She filled out her meal card for breakfast which included toast with jam, bacon and a fruit cup. She got plain toast (no butter) and a small glass of juice and that was it. Her water cup was empty, no one had filled it as of noon when we left. There was only one CNA that I saw in her wing the whole time and one dietary aide. That’s it. One CNA for about 24 residents. How in the world is that legal? And they think these residents are getting quality care? And for the almost $10,000 a month in room and board you think that they could at least give her butter with her toast.

So with that, please make sure if you have a loved one in a nursing home, go see them. Bring them goodies and gadgets. Make sure that they have a warm blanket or something cozy. If not, think of making a donation to a home to give some of the residents a little cheer this holiday. I will continue to yell at the top of my lungs until someone at the state level listens to what I am telling them about the care in the nursing homes, but in the meantime, I might try to spread some holiday cheer for those who need it a little more than me.

Let’s just say that we need to make better choices. Think about others more than ourselves. Bring back kindness. I know it is out there, we just have to make it happen.

Michigan Falling Short in Long Term Care

It is no surprise that the way our society functions is failing million Americans. I just read an article on NPR that is something that I think most Americans can relate to in some way shape or form. But this is not the only issue we are having. Medical care (insurance), child care, education, maternity/paternity leave that is paid, paying for college, or just paying for groceries are some of the everyday issues that American grapple with every day. The American wage is not allowing people to save for their kids, retirement, heck even a vacation. We also don’t have the means to keep some of the elderly in their homes because the cost of in home care is so high, you have to be a millionaire to afford it. One topic that I think is left out over and over again is adult care, specifically care of the elderly or vulnerable in the nursing homes.

I can only speak specifically for Michigan because that is the state in which I reside, not to mention spent many hours reading Michigan laws, rules and regulations about nursing homes. I understand that our country is divided in so many ways right now and we are going through some sort of “wake up”, and for some things that is beneficial to what we need, but what about our elderly?

My grandmother who is immunocompromised asked for 3 weeks for a booster shot. No one would give her an answer as to when she could get one. She finally got one on Veteran’s Day, yet it may have been too late as she was exposed to a CNA that was covid positive on the day prior.

People are pushing their call lights to have assistance, and no one is coming. Why? Because there are not enough CNAs to work. One aide may have up to 20+ people a day to take care of, and this is considered quality care when the room and board bill ALONE surpasses $8,000 a month. Um, I think not. Sounds just like another get rich scheme instead of remembering that these residents that need care are actually PEOPLE and they matter too.

The food that residents get in a nursing home is worse than what prisoners get at MDOC. The food is cold, barely palatable. Once my grandmother was given a head of broccoli for dinner and that was all. One time it was cold scrambled eggs for breakfast. Don’t even get me started on the diet she is supposed to follow because of her medical conditions; after many conversations with the administrator and dietary nothing changes. Still food shes not supposed to have and cold food that cannot be eaten followed by unreasonable excuses one after another or in some situations, ignoring me (the advocate) all together.

You may say that I should go ahead and report these nursing homes. I have reported 4 nursing homes. It took 3 months before any were investigated. Do they know what can happen in three months? Maybe they do, but just don’t care. For example, one nursing home I reported was cited for not following state guidelines. While I was reading my report, I was able to see other reports in which the same nursing home had been cited. One report was a nurse in the nursing home was under investigation for 2 deaths happening under her watch in suspicious circumstances. And guess what? While the investigation was happening they allowed her to continue to work there even though there was a possibility that her actions or lack of could have been causing residents deaths. Another nursing home I reported was cited because they withheld a schizophrenics medications from him for over a month. A month. Why? Because they said it cost too much. If you ever have a moment and want to know what is happening in these facilities look up some state reports.

I have written to my senator, my local ombudsman, my governor. and have reported numerous nursing homes. They get a slap on the wrist. The nursing homes come up with a plausible plan that makes the state happy but never follow through and are not truly held accountable for what goes on inside those walls.

I don’t know why I am writing this. Maybe to vent. Maybe to get people to be aware. Maybe to get someone who has more power and authority to listen and DO something for these people. I’m just tired of it. These people have spent their lives doing great things, working hard paying their taxes, doing community service and going on great adventures. Maybe gardening, rescuing animals, making care bags for the homeless. And this is how its allowed to be repaid? Cold food, ignoring call lights, all for sucking all the money they can from their insurance to only get sub par care? No. Absolutely not. We can do better. We need to do better.

To School or Not?

The last eight weeks in quarantine have been magical and disastrous all at the same time.  It has been really hard.  The emotions are high and all over the place.  There are so many options and none at all.  There has been all the time in the world and not enough.  So many dishes to do and the never ending laundry.  As well as the end of school and the beginning of virtual classes.

I think for parents, working or not, the dismissal of school was a difficult thing to deal with.  No one had ever been through this type of thing before.  A pandemic, what is that?  Everyone to do virtual learning?  Pssshhhhhh…

My daughter took it pretty hard when she realized that she couldn’t go back to school.  Initially she thought of it similar to Christmas break.  But then the governor came on the media and said that she was closing the schools for the remainder of the year.  That is heart breaking to a child who is so attached to the routine and her teachers, all of her wonderful friends.  Her school district has been amazing about making the transition to online teaching, with Zoom meetings and activities that the students can do at home.  They have worked around the technology and the internet issues along with making sure that kids still have access to meals.  They really have done an excellent job under the circumstances.  I applaud them.

My question is what now?

We all know that schools are giant germ factories.  Between the colds, stomach bugs, flu, hand foot and mouth, head lice, (the list keeps going) it is a nightmare trying to get families through those months where kids spend more time inside transferring germs than they do outside playing.  It seems like as soon as a kid gets over one illness, they are getting something else.  And the poor teachers getting sick right along with them.  I always feel the struggle more because my daughter has virus induced asthma.  She gets sick, her asthma can run wild.  Not cool.  I also know littles that have juvenile diabetes, heart issues, or just super weak immune systems.  These sick months the kids encounter are extra hard for them and can lead to devastating consequences if the illness gets out of control.

Here is my problem…do I allow my daughter to go back to school if it reopens or keep her home and home school her?  I have asked teachers that I know along with my daughter’s teacher what they have heard about next year.  I get conflicting stories; some say there will be regular school (no changes) then others say that there may be a hybrid model where only half the kids go at a time and there are virtual classes for the others.

I think that if the school has any common sense, they will have a plan in place as soon as possible knowing that if there is a change to the schedule, parents need to make accommodations.  But that is not the only issue.  These are the smoking guns for me:

1-the cleaning of the school

2-parents that give no shits and send their kids to school sick anyway

1-The cleaning of the school is huge for me because I know they do not clean it very well.  How do I know this?  I worked there.  Yes, I worked in this school district for a few years and the same custodial staff that was there then is there now, and most of them do not clean well at all.  The custodial staff only tidy up common areas; they don’t sanitize anything except lunch tables and bathrooms.  But most times the bathrooms will be out of TP and hand soap so I don’t know what help that is.  Also, they do not clean/sanitize tables, chairs, or desks in the classrooms themselves, the teachers have to do that on their own.  Like they don’t have enough on their plate as it is.  I have never seen any of them clean a door knob or drawer handle.  I just don’t think with the limited staff they have they will not be able to adequately SANITIZE all the things necessary.

Also, just a little tid bit to this, my daughter is not allowed to wash her hands at the necessary times.  The only time she can wash her hands is if she uses the bathroom, well if there is soap. They do not allow her to wash her hands before she eats (breakfast and lunch), after she eats, or after recess.  She is only allowed hand sanitizer.  Now I know hand sanitizer is helpful in those situations when you are in a bind and don’t have access to wash your hands, but guess what, they have those things at school.  She should be able to wash her little fingers before she eats. Aaannnnddd, I have worked with my daughter for years on washing hands and how to properly do it.  She knows what to do and does it well, so I would like her to use soap and water. Ya feel me?

2-I have watched this time and time again where parents send their kids to school sick just to be called by the office 30 minutes later telling the parent to come get their kids.  Or a parent that was told to come get their sick child from school and they don’t show up for 2 hours.  Um, no.  Sorry.  School is not your babysitter, no matter how much you think it is.  School is not your daycare provider.  If your kid is sick and is contagious, they need to stay home.  Most schools, especially elementary schools have sick policies that parents should follow.  Now do some parents let their kids go to school sick and have no clue, sure.  It happens.  But as an educator, I have watched so many people send kids to school with them coughing all over the place and snot running down their face only to get multiple other kids (and families) sick.  Not cool.  So I am sure a kid that has COVID-19 symptoms will just be sent to school to give it to other kids because their parents found it to inconvenient to keep them home.

I so badly want my daughter to have her school experiences and see her friends, but I want it done SMART.  I want the school to follow through, and I don’t have enough faith in them that rules will be followed and proper sanitation will take place.  I want parents to be responsible and accountable for making sure that they are also following policies and procedures keeping their children home when sick.  Unfortunately, I just don’t know in a building with hundreds of kids, this is even possible.

I think that it comes down to every family doing what works best for them.  Whether it is regular school or switching to all online classes or home-school, you have to do what is right. You do you.  You have to have true peace of mind that you are making the right choice.  No parent should feel bad for making that choice when they feel it was the best.  And I am ok with their choice and respect that.  I just hope that they will respect mine.