Mama Knows Best

There are so many things that we as moms endure that are hard. So damn hard. And yet, we still show up every day doing the best we can for our kids.

When my kiddo was born, I knew right out the gate that something was different about her. I had her sent to nursery the first night so I could have some sleep after 27 hours of labor that ended up in a horrible c-section. In the morning when they brought her in they said all she did all night was cry. She never slept. I was perplexed at the idea that a just born baby didn’t sleep for 6 hours, yet there was nothing medically wrong. When we got home, it was very much the same. She never slept. And the advice started to come from all directions that maybe she had acid reflux, maybe it was a milk intolerance, maybe she had gas, and the list went on and on. I knew that those were not the issues.

From six months to a year she would not nap. She had to be in the car or you had to hold her the whole time. Even if it wasn’t nap time and you set her down she screamed murder. Now most people just said that I should snuggle her more or sleep train her. That wasn’t it, there was something more to it.

She was never happy, she was never content. I didn’t take her into a store until she was 18 months old because all she did was scream. She screamed constantly and never slept. She was up at 3 am every day and gave up naps completely so she was in bed by 6 pm. Most nights we were so exhausted after working all day we went to bed at 7 pm. People in our families and friends had a hard time understanding this; we valued sleep and this was the time that we needed to sleep so we went to bed when the sun was shining and woke up in the middle of the night.

Also she was very particular about toys. She was very repetitive with the same toys. Same activities over and over. She didn’t really start talking until she was 2 1/2 and at the same time also decided to potty train herself. She didn’t really follow directions well. She got easily confused She was very smart and academically had her colors and shapes all memorized. No form of consequence affected her when it came to discipline. She was always hitting and for a while biting. But she still didn’t sleep. We were managing well enough at home but our friends and families couldn’t understand that we were not going out or attending events because her bedtime was 6 pm and I wasn’t going to deal with the shit the next day after having to get up at 3 am. Nope.

Preschool age was a nightmare. She didn’t sleep for 8 months. I almost had a nervous breakdown. She never napped. She was volatile; hitting, slapping, biting, damaging objects. She was never happy. I took her to doctors and they just kept saying it was a phase. That there was nothing I could do all the while I knew that it was not a phase.

Now we are here today. After years of everything we have finally got an answer. She has autism.

We are seeing therapists, we are getting on the list for the best OT in our area, we are also going to do a school of choice for her to go to a school with teachers that are trained and educated more in the autism arena. But it took me 8 years for someone to listen to me and to be taken seriously that something was different. That she wasn’t like the rest. There are still many things that her and I have to work through, independently and together, but we have the resources to help us and for that I am thankful. Here is my take away and gift to speak: Mamas, always trust your instinct.

I had a friend (who is no longer a friend) who always told me that I should ignore my daughter. Let her cry it out. That she was manipulating me. That she was just being a kid and I needed to stop being so dramatic. Then one day, randomly, she told me that the reason that she couldn’t be my friend was because I didn’t give her time. I wouldn’t go out with her or come over because we went to bed too early. She then said that she couldn’t handle how out of it I was. I never realized it until now that I was so happy that I NEVER listened to her advice or anyone else’s. That I listened to what MY family needed. That I fought to find a way to help all of us to get through this journey. This “friend” doesn’t know that my kiddo was diagnosed with autism. But boy oh boy does she look like an ass for all that shit she said. Mamas, don’t ever let someone try to tell you that you are crazy or don’t know what you are talking about. Or that there is nothing wrong. You know those babies best. You know. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you don’t.

*April is autism awareness month

Its So Sad

Lets go backwards to go forwards. I have anxiety. On my medical chart it says that I have GAD. I have suffered through some really hard times with my anxiety, and I have made it out on the other side. This journey for others may be very different from mine and that’s totally fine. Because not everyone is me, thank goodness. But, what I must say, regardless of your mental health journey, help should always be available. Unfortunately it is not.

Recently I spoke so someone that was telling me about their mental health journey. She was telling me that she recently got a new doctor and she spoke with the new doctor about her mental health struggles with anxiety. He told her that he doesn’t like to prescribe meds to patients and prefers them to seek therapy. I understand that there is a fine line many doctors are walking with prescribing meds to people in fear of them being labeled “over prescribes” meds to people, but some people need them. Some people may need something to ward off massive panic attacks. So for a doctor to just disregard meds as a possible treatment is not ok. Secondly, when this person went to contact this therapist, the therapist said that she couldn’t get to her until April. April? April? Four months from now. Ummmmm… How is this adequate mental health care? Now, certain insurances only allow certain therapists to be used, but to think that this is one of the only people and they can get to you until April? That’s ridiculous.

There is supposed to be this huge mental health movement. Taking care of your mental health and seeking care for your mental health is you feel that there is something gone wrong. And I think that is great that we are recognizing this and not seeing it as some stigma that we cant discuss. What is the problem is that you can’t actually get the help. We need to make it so that regardless of insurance, people can get access the therapy within 30 days. It should also be that family doctors have more learning and training in med school about mental health and treatments and how they can be advocates for their patients. No one should have to be told “sorry I won’t give you meds and a therapist isn’t available until April”. That isn’t helping anyone.

The bottom line is don’t give up. Keep fighting for the right to adequate care even in this severely capitalist country where the value of a person is not more than the value of a buck. Keep seeking the care you deserve. Because, you are worth it.

Accountability

This word is so triggering. Accountability. Its a loaded word but it is so incredibly important.

I have been arguing and disagreeing with my daughter’s school. I ask questions and they don’t answer. If they do answer, the answer has NOTHING to do with what I asked. When this is brought to their attention, I am told that said person probably didn’t know the answer. Cool, cool. THEN SAY THAT. Do not answer my questions with bullshit answers that I can see straight through. It seems as honesty is linked with accountability. Intertwined.

I am arguing with the nursing home again. Its getting to the point where I need someone to be accountable for what is going on with my grandmother. They say that they will look into it. Somethings they do, some things they don’t. Lately its been a lot of withholding information when she asks questions, dietary not doing what I asked with her meals. Shes becoming sad and depressed. Shes weak and tired. Yet no one seems to want to be accountable. Then I wonder, how the hell do you people sleep at night knowing that is what you are doing to these elderly residents?

Being accountable has so many layers. If you fuck up, acknowledge it. Say you messed up. Fix your shit and move on. You have to really try to be the best version of yourself everyday and take that accountability in to the world. If you see someone being racist, mean, rude, whatever, say something. Make those people be accountable for the wrongs they are doing.

Guys, we have to be better. We can be better. But it starts with being accountable for your own bullshit. I want to get out of this mess so desperately, but I don’t know if we will if some things don’t start changing.

Be a good human. Be accountable.

Vaccine Where?

My husband is considered an essential worker. He cannot get a covid vaccine unless his employer contacts a vaccine clinic that will allow him to get vaccinated. That phone call was made 11 days ago and we have heard nothing about him getting his appointment for his vaccination.

My doctor called me on Friday for some lab results. She asked me if I wanted a Covid vaccine. I said yes. I am not an essential worker and I have no health issues. (Mind you as of April 5th, Michigan was open to all people 16 and over to get vaccines.). I have an appointment this week. Monday I called the office to see if I could get my husband an appointment and they said no. That unless he has medical issues he cant have one. So I questioned the receptionist and asked her how come I was able to get one. She says I was lucky.

Here is what it coming down to. Michigan opened it up to all people over 16 to get a vaccine if they wanted one. The issue is they are not allowing those people to get them, only in designated clinics. So, one clinic will allow anyone to have a vaccine and the one 2 blocks down the road will not. So explain to my why we bothered opening the vaccines up to all people if it will be weeks or months before they will be allowed to get them because we are still vaccinating those who are more vulnerable? Just keep the vaccine eligibility closed until you can actually vaccinate those people. Because all it does is piss a bunch of people off.

As of this morning it seems as though all but three places in our area locally are vaccinating people over 16 with no medical conditions. The wait lists for these clinics are huge. And last week my county declared a state of emergency for covid cases. So, where are all the vaccines?? I’m going to stay hopeful that we will get a call for him sooner rather than later, and this applies for many of my family members as well. I also hope that others that are looking for vaccines also have good luck at getting their speedily without a hitch. We have got to get this pandemic under control, asap.

Being Thin???

When people notice that you have lost weight, the reaction is with happiness and joy. When you gain weight and people notice, they react with disappointment and disgust. Why are people reacting at all? Well, because what social media and society tells us is acceptable.

Let me tell you a tale.

I have anxiety. I think that I have mentioned it before. If not, well, I have anxiety. Its not the run of the mill anxiety, its the kind where my doctor has gotten involved because I have reached out for help. It can be the all consuming dreadful anxiety. But, over the years and doing research and learning more about who I am and what sets my anxiety off, I have been able to get it under control. To an extent.

When my life becomes very crazy and the anxiety amps up, I tend to just not eat. Some people eat, I am a non eater.

When my daughter went to school last year, I decided to take a part time job for 20 hours a week to give me something to do. Well naturally because I was working, I was snacking less and having lighter meals and lost a bit of weight. Nothing to fret over, just my pants were a bit lose. But people noticed. They would say things like, “You lost weight, good for you.” Well, it wasn’t like I was doing it on purpose. But it made me wonder, were they grossed out by me before? I had some curves but its not like I was grotesque.

After the pandemic hit, work was shut down for two months. I started eating again, and for a while it made me ill. Like every time I ate food to that fullness threshold, I felt sick. My body just wasn’t used to eating food, like real meals. The two months that we spent at home, I did eat more but smaller portions and my weight came back a smidge, but whose didn’t? Not like I was worried about it.

When the lockdown was over, and I went back to work, things escalated. I found myself not eating all day because my anxiety was through the roof. It was nothing but chaos and panic, rushing and running all day. I felt like there was too much pressure on me, on the group as a whole. I was given duties that I felt that were too much responsibility. I started seeing passive aggressive behavior coming at me (and someone with PTSD issues, this is not good) and I started to shut down. There were times that I was headed off to eat something but was stopped because someone told me I had to do something before I could eat. So I just didn’t. My weight was dropping and dropping and dropping. Just putting food in my mouth made me sick. Finally I had had enough. I decided to put my two weeks notice in.

I haven’t worked in almost 4 months. I haven’t gained all of the weight back but at least a good ten pounds. It took me at least two months to get my body to regulate to eating food again. Now that I am home with my daughter doing homeschool, we make time for meals and snacks. We eat when we are hungry. Lunch and breakfast are a priority every day, even if it is something light.

You may be wondering what the hell is the point. My point is that society comes up with these standards about how you are supposed to look and how much you should weigh. But at what expense? Mine was making me spiral down a horrible tunnel of anxiety and panic all for a job that I was just doing to kill time. Granted I liked the way I looked, and I liked the compliments and how clothes looked on me, but was that enough to keep spiraling down a dark path? No, not for me. But for some people it is.

People may have weight fluctuations for positive or negative reasons. Like me, its negative, its my anxiety. I don’t want the compliments of how my body looks because I have a mental health issue that is shutting me off of food. Its not a good compliment because of the reason behind it. SO, just don’t comment on anyone’s weight for any reason, ever. Weather they have lost a bunch or gained a bunch, just don’t say anything because you may be bringing up demons that that person could be in the trenches fighting. Instead, tell them how you like their eye shadow or ask them about a new book they have read. There is more to a person than their size and weight.

The Garden Diaries

How many of you had a garden this year?  First year?  Twentieth year?  I have a small raised bed garden and it puts out a lot of amazing produce.  It is my 3rd year, and I feel confident with my growing abilities.  So much so that my husband thinks that we should expand it for next year.  (Not sure how I feel about that.)

So there have been things that I have done the last couple years that have helped me learn what I am doing with all the produce I grow as well as where I want it to take me in the future.

I love the tomatoes I grow.  I have experimented with tomatoes, and I have learned that Sweet 100s and Purple Cherokees grow amazingly, and I get an abundance of them.  But that is a problem.  I can’t eat them fast enough or give them away fast enough.  So, I think the best thing to do for the next growing season is to grow the types that are best for canning.  I have never canned but have watched videos and read article on how to can.  I think the best way to preserve my awesome tomatoes is canning them mainly into pasta sauce.  Maybe soup.  I may not get a lot, but I can also compensate with getting extra from the farmers market if I need to.  I am thinking next year I am going to go with a Roma tomato or something similar and then the sweet 100s I will make into pizza sauce because its delicious.

I need to calm down on the zucchini.  This year I planted 4 plants and I have 13 bags of frozen zucchini in the freezer.  Now I am not crying about it because I see lots of muffins in the winter, but it is a bit overwhelming.  In 2021, I think I will just do 2 plants and that should be plenty.

This year was the first year that I planted lettuce.  I also planted some collards.  Man oh man, it was amazing!!!!  I loved it.  I loved being able go out and get lettuce for salads or BLTs.  I had Buttercrunch lettuce and another, but the name evades me.  My collards were excellent too.  Since I had never grown lettuce before, I didn’t plant a lot but 2021 will be the year of the lettuce.  I want more of it in my life because it was so great.

I did not plant squash this year and I regret it.  My first year I planted 2 buttnernut squash plants and it gave me 7 large squash.  It got me through half of the winter.  Last year everyone’s gardens sucked because of the rain and we all ended up with blight covered plants, thus I yielded 2 squash.  This year, I didn’t even plant any but got one by accident because it was labeled a cucumber but obviously was not.  Oye!  So, this upcoming year I plan on doing a butternut and spaghetti squash and we will call it good.

Radishes.  I can grow them but they are puny.  (Hold on to this thought.)

Cucumbers…cucumbers are erratic.  Sometimes they produce like wild and others not so much.  I do know that I like the small pickle cucumbers more than the standard cucumbers.  I usually plant 2 or three and this next year will be about the same.

On a side, I have also had an issues with critters this year that I have never had an issue with before.  For the most part my garden is fenced in so most critters can’t get in.  I suspect some of them with their little “hands” somehow make it in as I have found some half eaten tomatoes outside.

There are a few plants in the hot seat.  Eggplant is on the list.  Spinach.  Radishes. Potatoes. Onions and Garlic.  I say these because my husband has come up with a thought about expanding the garden and making another bed for some of these plants so we can grow more of our own food.  Now I have never grown any of these(except radishes and they seem to be tiny) so I am not sure how well it would work out for me, but I would be willing to give it a go.  No harm in trying.  Also, we have been getting our meat from a nearby farm and I am hoping that they could also supply me with some manure that I can turn into the soil before the freeze and in the spring.  I feel like some of my plants are struggling with success because the soil needs some tending to.  Which is all par for the course.

So there is the garden rundown of 2020. Hoping the garden of 2021 is epic and provides just as well, if not better, than this year.

 

The Virtual Tidal Wave

This is the school year of all school years.  I am exhausted and we have not even started school.  Well we have but not really.  Confused?  Me too.

Our school district in Michigan had us set to begin on August 25th.  The district plans were to allow students and parents to decide if they wanted virtual school or F2F.  My family chose virtual as I am a certified teacher and have actually taught in the school district that my daughter attends.  We did not start school on the 25th because we didn’t have computers or teachers.  Now, as of today, we have a teacher (thankfully it is the same teacher that she had last year so the relationship is already there) and a computer, but we still have no classwork.

Apparently, the program that we are supposed to be using has become so overloaded that it is slow and is taking more time to import all of the student data in it to begin.  We were supposed to have logins for our classes today, which now they say will be Friday, and I think it will be next Tuesday.

I was also surprised to find out that our district has 41% of students doing virtual classes and some nearby districts, it is only 14%.  I wonder why there is such a large discrepancy?

I am not in a panic for my daughter to start because there are things that we can do at home or outside to bring the learning to her.  We work on telling time and reading.  We talk about plants and how they grow.  We do a little math while baking something.  There are always things that can be done that can allow the connections and build the knowledge.

All of this has been a huge learning curve.  Not only for teachers but for parents, grandparents, kids, bus drivers and more.  There are things that I am pleased about and some things not so much.  But this is the first time that virtual learning on such a massive scale has ever happened.

I wonder what it would look like if this was happening and there was no internet to do virtual school.  How would learning be handled?  What would be happening in the schools?  How would parents handle it?

Hmmm…

Well, Aren’t We Entitled

I was scrolling through the news, and I know it is something that I shouldn’t be doing but, ya know, you have to stay informed.  I came across an article on CNN explaining how there was a school in Indiana where parents KNOWINGLY sent their child to school with a pending Covid-19 test.  And guess what?  It came back positive!!!

I prayed a lot, talked to myself, wrote in my journal…you name it, I did it to figure out what to do with my daughter for this school year.  She loves her school, her teachers and her friends.  I am well acquainted with the school because I had taught in the district in the past.  I wanted her to go back to school. But I was extremely hesitant to say the least.

Our district released a plan that is offering face-to-face (F2F) school and virtual.  I have decided to take the virtual option.

Now here is the thing.

There are all different kinds of families with all different circumstances.  And they will have to choose the option that is best suited for them.  You do you. I get it.

What I am not okay with is this exorbitant level of entitlement.  It makes me gag quite frankly.

What in the name of _____ would make you think (as a parent) that it would be a good idea to send the kid to school with a pending Covid test?  Your entitlement?  Your need for wanting your individualism more than what is good for the whole?  Your a psycho?

This goes back to why I cannot send my daughter to school in good conscience.  I have no control over what other parents do.

Parents send kids to school sick all the time.  What is going to make this pandemic situation any different?  Just a roll of the dice on whether that cough Bobby has had for a week is Covid or a regular cold?  Just to see what happens.  Nah.

But this time its different.  Sending a child to school ill this time around could be potentially lethal not only for the peers but for those who staff the school.  If a teacher gets Covid, how is he/she going to get a sub?  Subs are hard to come by as it is.

I cannot send my daughter to school knowing that she could carry this illness to others.  I cannot send her knowing that there are parents out there that wont keep their sick kids home.  I cannot send my daughter because the school may get lax in their sanitation protocols and the cleanliness wont be effective in preventing the spread.  Kids wont keep masks on.  Kids will be too distracted.  Teachers will be overwhelmed.  Social distancing wont be maintained.

I cannot control what others do.  But I can control what goes on in my home.  Because I am looking out for the good of the whole.  Not just my family but other families, teachers and students.  I am making my choice for others too.  Because it seems to be the best thing to do.

Whatever you choose to do as a family, however your kids go back to school, make sure that you as a parent have a plan.  Have a plan how to handle illness, extra curricular activities, play dates (if you allow it).  Because of all these decision have an impact on the whole, not just you. And if we ever plan to get the heck out of this, we need to start looking at it as a whole and not just you vs me.

 

 

 

 

You Can Do It

Masks.  Weird right?  No one thought in a million years that masks would become so, popular.

According to a revised page of the CDC website (May 23, 2020) it states that people should be wearing masks.  Not only to possibly protect yourself, but it can help protect others as well.  Is it a guarantee? No.  But can it help?  Yes.  Along with making sure to keep 6 feet of social distance in place as well as making sure to wash your hands (remember to sing happy birthday twice) can help keep many people healthy.

Now, with all of that being said, why are people not wearing them?

Let me start with my personal details.  I have family that is not in the best of health, and they depend on me to make sure that they have what they need.  I have been staying away from people as much as humanly possible as well as avoiding stores when necessary.  I try to use online shopping and enter stores at non-peak hours where there are fewer people in the stores.  I wash my hands well, I ALWAYS wear a mask, and disinfect all commonly touched surfaces.

Many times as I am in a store, I see not only the patrons but the staff not wearing masks.  Pardon?

Why is this so difficult?  Because people feel entitled that they don’t have to do something with their body that they don’t want to.  Human body autonomy.

It is a mask.  Made of either lightweight paper mesh or maybe cotton or nylon.  Might be held on by your ears or tied behind your head.  Not always stylish but you can get them made by awesome people on Etsy to make sure it matches your outfit that day.  Sometimes they fog up your glasses, if you wear glasses.  Sometimes they make you sweat a bit, maybe give you a zit or two.  Maybe it makes you gag a bit because you realize you need to brush your teeth better.  Not perfectly pleasant but not going to kill you.

Now recently, I have been getting dirty looks from people.  Not sure why.  I have on a mask and they don’t.  Shouldn’t I be giving them they stink eye?  Now I know for a fact that if I were to go out into public, to a store, movies, amusement park and didn’t have a bra on, I would be getting a TON of looks.  Many of them along the lines of “Why doesn’t she have a bra on?  That’s not cool!!!”  Yes!  My point exactly.  I don’t like wearing a bra.  It pinches and hurts my neck, in the summer I get sweaty and sometimes I get heat rashes.  Sometimes it is itchy because the fabric isn’t wonderful.  But you know what?  I make do. Just like a mask.  It is not always wonderful or super pleasant, but I think that you could make do for the short time it takes you to go into the store or pharmacy.

The one argument that takes the cake is people saying that wearing a mask is against their constitutional rights.  Ok, lets back up a bit.  No one is asking you to put poison in your body without consent or removing part of your brain for scientific study…it’s a mask.  I get constitutional rights- until your right is putting someone else in harm’s way.  By not wearing a mask you could be putting yourself or someone else in jeopardy by spreading germs.  A person that may be diabetic or have asthma or high blood pressure.  Someone that may be more susceptible from having severe issues if they were to contract Covid-19.  That is not fair to them.  Be kind.  Do that one great, kind deed for the day and wear your mask.  I woke up this morning and put my bra on.  Trust me, you can do it.

I am sure that there are 7,651 reasons that people come up with as to why they don’t want to wear a mask.  (That is another blog post coming soon.) Honestly, unless you have a severe, potentially life threatening issue that prevents you from wearing a mask, I think they should be worn.  There is no harm to wear one.  Find one that you like and go for it.  Trust me, there are people out there cheering you on for putting your mask on today.  Just like I cheer for all the ladies that put on a bra this morning.

 

 

It’s Scary Here

So I love all the talk of the spooky, whether it is ghost stories or aliens. Love it all. One of my favorite podcasts that I listen to weekly is the Scared to Death show with comedian Dan Cummins and his fabulous and funny wife, Lynze. I have not been able to listen to the new episode from this week but it got me thinking, maybe I should share my experiences with the spooky things and see if any of you have tales to share in return. So, here we go!

I bought a farm house in Michigan in 2010. The house was modest on 2 acres. It was build in 1899 and was at one point farm laborer housing for an apple orchard that was in the area. The man that I purchased the home from had given me all the tax records dating back to the early 1940s. So much history, so interesting.

And most of my experiences in the home were interesting too. My very first experience I had was a few weeks after we moved in. I was doing more organizing and cleaning in the downstairs living room which had a huge picture window facing east toward my driveway and barn. As I am standing in the middle of the living room facing my tv that was off, I see the reflection of a child, maybe 10 years old run past my window. I thought to myself, why is that kid in my yard? So I run to my door getting ready to yell at the kid, and there was no one there.

Second experience was that summer. I had gotten up in the night to go to the bathroom, and as I walked past the guest room, I could see a woman wearing all white standing in my driveway. And it appeared as though she were dancing. I went to the bathroom quickly, got back in bed, and pulled the covers over my head.

It was an old house. Things would bang or ping all the time. But I learned those noises and noises that were not normal. For instance one evening I was sitting downstairs, finishing a tv show so I could head to bed. I lived alone, and no one was over visiting. All of a sudden, from upstairs, I hear a crash. Like something heavy fell on the floor, most likely in the bathroom since it was one area not carpeted. I told myself, it must have been one of my two cats, they knocked something down. But then I look over on the couch and both of the cats were fast asleep next to me. So I go upstairs and check every room, only to find nothing out of place. Nothing fell down. Nothing at all.

A few months later I was down in the basement doing laundry. Hated that basement. It was super creepy. But as I was getting one load out of the washer and dryer, I heard what sounded like someone running from one end of my house to the other. Loud heavy running, maybe that of an older child. What the hell was going on? Did someone break into my house in the middle of the day? So I drop the clothes and run upstairs only to find…no one. All of the doors were locked and everything was where it needed to be.

Lastly, I was in bed one night having a hard time sleeping. Tossing and turning. Could not get comfortable. As I am laying there, I feel the blankets slowly being pulled straight down off of me, as though someone was standing at the end of the bed pulling them. I gave a hearty pull of the blankets back toward me and it stopped.

I finally decided that I was going to put my house up for sale, and I decided to do some digging on the property and who lived there. With the use of the internet and my local library I was able to piece together a pretty amazing story. So a family bought the house in the 1940s after the man of the house returned from war. They had two children. Apparently one of the children was killed just down the road from the house in a sledding accident in the 1950s. The family remained in the home until the mid 1980s when the lady of the house passed away in her nineties. That is when the house was put up for sale.

Makes me wonder, was that the lady and child I saw? Is the child the one running through the house, knocking things down?

I have since moved into a new house, which compared to my old home seems quiet. But I do happen to have the rare oddities that happen, and some that my young daughter notices. Maybe I have a wild imagination, maybe I have some medium abilities, maybe I am just plain crazy. Or maybe what I saw is real.

Maybe…

Do you have any stories to tell? I would love to hear!

Oh, and if you get a chance, go check out the podcast! Its fantastic!